The First Word
by Evie2
Summary: Harry says his first word, and James is wondering just who the father is (but not really, it's a joke) Read to the end for a shock!


HEY Y'ALL! I don't own Harry Potter (although, I wish I did) (he's 12, i'm not, he's 12, i'm not... oh no...) What I mean to say, is that these character's are not mine. thank you. ONLY REVISED BECAUSE I DISCOVERED SPELL CHECK! that and i needed to add to the shameless plug section at the end. Thank you! (p.s. sorry there's no sock jokes in this one! sock fans, please read any of my other stories for more sock funnies!)  
  
I landed my motorcycle outside the peaceful house in Godric's Hollow. I'd been looking forward to this visit since, well, since I'd left the night before. Sometimes I wondered if James and Lily ever got sick of me, Peter, and Remus hanging around all the time. But, who could get sick of three charming guys like us? I prepared to make my big entrance but found someone else had already stolen the show.  
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"  
"Oh, Harry, Harry, it's okay! Really! Oh, c'mon Harry," James was pleading with his eleven-month-old son in the kitchen.  
It was quite a scene I saw when I entered the kitchen. Lily was busying herself over something on the oven, refusing stubbornly to cook the magic way, saying it made the food taste funny. Peter was trying (very unsuccessfully, I might add) to give Harry a peace offering in the form of a squeaky, plush cow. Harry grabbed it in one little hand, considered it for about two seconds, and threw it on the floor (which was already covered with wanna-be peace offerings). I leaned against the open kitchen door and made no attempt to hide my amusement at James. Mr. Invinsible, the Master of Quidditch, the Terror of Hogwarts (not to mention the man I'd once caught in spiderman underwear our first year of school), was literally on his knees, begging his son to stop crying. The kid didn't cry much, but when he did, it was darned near impossible to get him to stop. Except, of course, for me.  
"Need a hand with that, Jamsie-boy?" I asked slyly from the door.   
"Sirius! You're here! Thank you thank you thank you..." James chanted as he hauled the squirming infant over to me.   
Lily shook her head in disappointment. "James," she nearly had to shout, "if you're Harry's father, how come Sirius has to sooth him for you?"  
James looked like he'd been shot. He looked from me to Lily, and back again. "What the hell do you mean, IF I'm his father?!"  
Lily burst into a fit of giggles and kissed James on the forehead. I was secretly pleased to hear that. I mean, not that'd I'd want to be cheating James out of a wife, but that I could be mistaken for Harry's father. I sat down at the kitchen table with the little prince and started my usual coos, waiting for silence to ensue.  
"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"  
Silence did not ensue.  
"I-I don't understand!" I said bluntly.  
Lily gave an exasperated groan and turned back to her cooking. Peter slumped down in his chair, where he found it uncomfortable to be sitting on a stuffed bear, but instead of bothering to offer Harry the sure-to-be-turned-down toy, he just threw it on the floor with the rest of them. Harry stopped his wailing for a moment to consider that his favorite bear had just been discarded on the floor.  
"Oh c'mon Harry, would it have done any good?" I asked him.  
He looked up at me as if to say, "you know, my man, you're right", and continued to cry. James leaned against the refridgerator with a smirk on his face.   
"Yeah, look who's the father now," he said proudly.  
"You're pathetic, James, you really are," Lily teased from across the room. James pouted.  
"Am I pathetic, Lil?" I asked her.  
"Of course not, Love," she said, patting both me and her little son on the head.   
I stuck my tongue out at James. I would have thought that he'd be used to the little games Lily and I would play with his head by now, but jealousy flashed in his eyes and his flustered appearance became just a bit more flustered.  
"Don't cry Harry," I continued the teasing, "someday, you can come live with your REAL daddy and everyone will be happy!"  
James snatched his sobbing son out of my hands, which I put behind my head and leaned back in the chair, as if to proclaim my triumph. Peter rolled his eyes at me and, with his wand, I felt the chair slip from beneath me. James hovered above me as I laid sprawled on the floor.  
"At least this daddy's more cordinated!" he said, sticking his tongue out at me. Lily abandoned her cooking momentarily to prop the slipping Harry back into his father's (maybe, haha) arms. I burst into a fit of laughter at this contrast. James blushed, and sulked a corner to quiet his child.  
  
***a half hour later***  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
You have to admit, the kid had lungs of steel.  
"Arg, dinner's been ready for ten minutes, where in the world is Remus?" Lily said in frustration. I knew she wasn't really angry with Moony (no one ever really was) but the thought was pretty amusing. "Honestly," she continued, "most women only have to keep tabs on one husband, I have four!"  
James nearly dropped the baby. Luckily, Peter was there to assist.  
"Hmm, maybe we should give you a golden snitch instead of a child, James," I mused, taking Harry into my arms, "might be easier for you to control."  
"I still haven't forgiven you for possibly impregnating my wife," James glared at me. Lily gave a defeated sigh and I (for possibly the twentieth time) resigned myself to a bout of laughter. I'm pretty sure James was ready to decapitate me at that point, but thankfully, a werewolf came running in through the back door.  
"Well, it's about bloody time!" Lily yelled over her son.  
Remus lowered his head, and muttered at his shoes, "Aw, Lily, I'm sorry. I kinda fell asleep....". He raised his eyes, and gave her a sad puppy dog look that made me ready to puke, but most of the girls fell for it (I don't care what Lacy Barker said, he is NOT more handsome than I am).  
"Aw, Moony, it's okay, I'm not really mad," she said, wrapping him in a hug that I'm sure made James red in the face.  
"Hey wolf-boy, easy there, we don't want James getting jealous," I warned.  
"Why, does James have a crush on me?" he asked casually. Peter fell straight off his chair. "How long has he been crying?"  
"About forty five minutes," I shouted over Harry's wails.  
Remus reached down and tickled the back of his neck. Harry pulled his face out of my shirt and focused his watery eyes on Remus. To my amazement, he stopped screaming. A hush fell on the kitchen, and all movement stopped.  
"Hi, Harry," Remus said quietly.  
Harry giggled. I held my breath, and something I'd never expected came out of Harry's mouth.  
"MOONY!"  
His first word. Remus stumbled back. His expression changed from total shock to total joy.   
"You know me! You know my name!" he said, hoisting Harry above his head and whirling him through the air. Harry giggled with delight.  
"Remus! Remus, oh, be careful with that!" James squeaked out.   
Lily just laughed. "Oh, our boy can talk!"   
Remus handed the bundle of blankets back to me, a me that was rather disappointed.  
"C'mon Harry," I sighed, "I'm your godfather. Can't you say something to me?" Harry grinned in response. "C'mon, c'mon Harry, who am I?"  
"DADDY!" Harry shouted.  
I'm pretty sure I paled just then. But not nearly as much as James did. I handed the baby back to Moony, who was still delighted, and not having witnessed the prior conversation, didn't know the full weight of that word. James, very slowly, turned his head in Lily's direction. She clamped a hand over her mouth to hide a smile that was still obvious in her eyes.   
"I swear, little man, you're timing couldn't be worse," I whispered to Harry as I hid myself behind Moony. This evening was going to be very interesting. Possibly bloody, but interesting, at least.  
  
*******************THE END....REALLY!*******************  
  
SHAMELESS PLUG! read my other stories, "Harry Learns the Facts of Life", "Wrong On So Many Levels", and "Who's in Love With the Big Bad Wolf?" In the first, Harry, discovers that he doesn't know how babies are made, and starts asking all the wrong people! And why in the world does Snape think Hermione's pregnant, and that Harry's... well... erm... *cough cough wink wink nudge nudge* you'll have to read it to find out. I've been told it's really funny! (funnier than this, but hey, what can you expect? it's late, i'm cold, fingers type, and this is what comes out. you don't expect me to understand it, do you?) "Wrong On So Many Levels" is a MWPP fic in which Sirius hits on Lily, James hits Sirius, Sirius hits on Remus, Remus becomes traumatized, (but hee hee, not really, there's no slash, honest!) and Snape is a jerk. In "Who's in Love with the Big Bad Wolf" Hermione's got a school-girl crush on Remus, and then she finds out he's a werewolf. Then he finds out about her school-girl crush. Both issues get confronted, but they DO NOT hook up. Also, Snape gets a piece of Remus's mind about the werewolf essay he assigned when Remus was (cough cough wink wink nudge nudge) "ill". please read one, i'm so lonely! Ciao! 


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